FF or WoW – what’s geekier?

Which pastime has the higher concentration of geeks – Fantasy Football or World of Warcraft? Of course all the frat guys are going to say “What!?! Fantasy Football is football, it’s not dorky! Those Dungeons and Dragons dudes are NERDS!!! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!” Well not so fast there, Ogre. Talking about either for a prolonged length of time at the party is like spraying Chick Repellent on yourself before you leave the house. The fact that your game has the word “Fantasy” in it doesn’t win you any cool points either.

In the interest of total disclosure, I do play Fantasy Football and I was in a frat, and my name is Bret – crissakes, talk about stereotypes – and I think FF is frickin’ awesome!! But I didn’t always think so. Before I started playing FF three seasons ago, I would equate FF with WoW. And this would piss my Fantasy Football playing friends off to no end – which of course is why I did it. I also maintained that I was too busy following my beloved college team, the Arkansas Razorbacks, and this passion had no room for other passions. But I played, and now, I realize, that the only thing better than football in the fall is MORE football in the fall. But my stance remains, if altered a bit, that they’re both pretty dorky.

Last Saturday I was in the B-dub-dub (Buffalo Wild Wings) with a couple of friends of mine, having a beer and watching baseball and Olympic coverage (multiple TV’s allow you to do both). They proceeded to tell me about their experiences in the world that is World of Warcraft. I have to admit it sounded fun! I can totally see myself playing it. But since I already have so many geeky obsessions anyway, including comic books, vinyl records, and sports (watching more than playing) on top of Fantasy Football, I figured WoW would be one geeky obsession too many. Some would argue I hit that marker many moons ago.

Lets think about this another way. Given the recent trend of Geek Chic – what was once uncool is now cool. So consider this little essay to be an attempt to gain acceptance for my FF playing brethren into the now elite WoW crowd. We’ll go through some geeky topics and see who scores the most geek points.

1. Computer -Technology. Both games are played exclusively on computers. So members of both disciplines must be somewhat tech savvy.

Geek Points Awarded: wash

Score: WoW 0
FF 0

2. Mystical Creatures. WoW is loosely based on D&D, which features characters and critters from the Lord of the Rings and Chronicles of Narnia series. So it’s chock full of elves, goblins, trolls, dragons, necromancers and frikin lygers and tigons for all I know. Fantasy Football is based on actual football. Although Chad “Ocho Cinco” Johnson is pretty freaky at times it’s nothing like an orc. However, there are oft-told legends of the elders such as Butkus and Ditka that battled the beasts on the frozen tundra in the north land called Lambeau … aw who am I freakin kidding. WoW gets major points on this. FF gets none.

Geek Points Awarded: WoW – 8 geek points, FF – 0 geek points

Score: WoW 8
FF 0


3. Slang. You may hear WoW dudes talking about a Twink or Twinking, which, according to Wikipedia, “refers to outfitting a new character or player with items or other resources that are not normally available to new or low-level characters.” But yet another definition provided by Wiki for Twink is “a term for young or young-looking gay or bisexual men.” On the other side of the coin you may often hear FF players talking about needing a “good tight end.” Which would explain why most of these dudes’ “fantasy” involves hours upon hours of watching dudes in tight britches.

Geek Points Awarded: None. However, male homo-erotic points are through the roof for both on this one.

Score: WoW 8
FF 0

4. Social Interaction: You probably have images of FF dudes watching football hanging around, chuggin’ brewskis and slapping high fives. That does happen from time to time, but most often games are watched alone, by some poor fat guy with bad skin eating Cheetoes and drinking Diet Mountain Dew, watching his tv and laptop monitor simultaneously, keeping a close eye on the “stat-tracker”, praying that Willie Parker does or doesn’t run those 10 more yards, and hoping he will win this week’s game and advance into the playoffs. I know, because that’s me. Not so glamorous huh?


Geek Points Awarded: WoW – 2 geek points, FF – 5 geek points

Score: WoW 10
FF 5

5. Chicks (or lack thereof): It’s no secret that both of these hobbies are severely lacking in participants of the fairer sex. To be fair, I’m married and so are my friends I was speaking to at B-dub-dub. So we’re not online looking for love. But if you are a single dude who participates in either of these hobbies, all hope is not lost. There are a few girls/women who play both FF or WoW.

To the FF dudes: If you find an attractive person of the female persuasion that plays FF, that is a valuable find. As valuable as LaDainian Tomlinson is to your offensive rushing yardage. Odds are she is a uber-cool, jeans-and-t-shirt, low-maintenance, bad-assed chick. But odds are equally high that there’s way more dudes in your FF league than girls. It’s even money that she’s just out of your league in general.

On the other hand, there are probably more girls playing WoW than playing FF, believe it or not. And, there is more of a chance that the girl will be one of those sexy-ass-tattooed-goth-emo “Suicide Girls” type (attention: link is not safe for work).

So advantage here is with the WoW geeks, who get a lot of cool points, which means, unfortunately, that they loose all of their geek points, because interaction with hot, tattooed chicks is something pretty cool.

Final Score: WoW 0
FF 5

In closing, the point here is this: You are really missing out in life if you don’t have something that fills in the blank in this sentence: I am a ______ nerd. And you can’t say you’re a “wine” nerd, or a “cigar” nerd, or a “gourmet” nerd. That would be a connoisseur instead of a “nerd” there, Chet. The truth is we’re all geeks of some kind, and if you don’t have a hobby that a certain sector of the population considers nerdy, or dweeby you’re really missing out in life. There’s nothing like going to a convention celebrating your passion, shop selling your passion or movie showing your passion and being around people who are in your little pop-culture cult. It’s even cooler to discover someone you already know is into the same geeky stuff you’re into.

For instance, my wife and I once PLANNED OUR ENTIRE VACATION around going to the nearest town with an IMAX to watch the latest Harry Potter movie. We’re not just joined in Holy Matrimony; we’re joined in our geekiness.

So, no matter what you chose to put in that blank - whether it’s collecting yard gnomes, dancing to polka music or singing science-fiction folk songs - let your geek flag fly, America! Because being cool is for dorks.