One of my favorite old jokes.

I DID NOT WRITE THIS JOKE. I don’t know where it came from, but I heard this one along time ago back in grade school, so it should be public domain:


A guy has been having migraine headaches for as long as he can remember. Over the course of many years, he’s had several tests done, but the doctors can never tell him why he’s having these headaches. Every day he is in pain, and he’s considering suicide.

One day the doctors call him with some news. Although they still don’t know why he’s having these headaches, they do know the source of them – his testicles. The doctor has good news and bad news: The good news is they are 100% sure they can cure him. The bad news is they have to surgically remove both of his testicles.

The man doesn’t want to loose what he considers his manhood, but he gives this long, hard consideration. Given the choice of suicide, living with the migraines or having no testicles, the man reluctantly decides to have the surgery. He does, and all goes well. After the surgery is over, he feels better than he has in his entire life!!

Walking down the street with a new lease on life, he passes a fine Italian suit store. He decides since he feels so good, he should look good too. He’s going to live it up and get fitted.

He walks in and tells the Italian tailor that he wants his finest Italian suit, and that money is no object. He asks to see something in a 42 regular. The Italian man looks him up and down and says, “Excuse’, signor, please try this 44 regular, I think it fitta you better,” and hands him a suit jacket to try on.

The man puts it on and it’s the best fit he has had in his life. He’s amazed! “How did you know without measuring?” the man asks.

“I’m a tailor, itsa my job to know these things!”

Next the tailor gets him a shirt, “You are a seven-and-a-half neck, 35 inches on-a left arm and a 36 inches on-a right arm,” he says.

“Wow! How did you know that?” asks the man.

“I’m a tailor, itsa my job to know these things! Next, we getta you pants. What size?”

“Well, I’ve been wearing a 34 waist with a 33-inch inseam.”

The tailor says, “No, no! You want a 35-inch inseam. A 33 will ride too high on you nuts and giva you headaches!”


I love a good joke with a moral. The point here is sometimes when life has got you down, you still have to live it up. If that guy had got that Italian suit earlier, he might still have his berries.

-30-, bitches.