Vote Irish this November.

I never set out to write a political blog, because there’s just so many out there already. I don’t think I can really add anything to the political blogosphere that hasn’t been said already. But since this is an election year, and a HUGELY important election at that, I felt the need to at least mention it and tell you whom BeyondWriterDome is endorsing in the 2008 presidential election. (You know, because it’s such a powerful endorsement.)

For the record, I’ve never, ever, ever voted Republican before in my life. However, I think it’s important to throw partisan parties out the window while researching candidates. You need to be objective and consider yourself an American first and foremost. Look at issues beyond party affiliation.

That’s why I’ve decided to vote for the candidate with the most Irish sounding last name. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Your last name isn’t very Irish sounding.” Well, hold on there for a minute. While it’s true that the “ington” part of my last name is most commonly associated with the English, there are some “ingtons” in Ireland. Take PGA golfer and British Open winner, Padraig Harrington.

Born in Dublin Ireland, Harrington's first name is Padraig. I think Padraig, the Gaelic spelling of Patrick, has to be the most Irish name in the world. This guy is as Irish as a potato soaked in Jameson. Damn! That guy has a cool name. He may be the only guy in the world whose name is cooler than mine. If he had won the British Open last year instead of this year, I would have heard about him sooner and named my son after him. Padraig Ellington, now THAT’S a cool firkin name. But I digress.

So, even though my first name is most commonly associated with WASPy frat guys and comic singers in folk-parody duos from New Zealand, I can relate to the great Irish-American heritage in this country. Our next president should too. Kennedy was a great American president and an Irish-American. We need more of the hardworking, salt-of-the-earth, middle-American values that Irish-Americans hold true. That’s why I’m pleased to announce that BeyondWriterDome is throwing their support behind O’Bama.

O’Bama is from Chicago, Illinois, a city with a long history of Irish-Catholic Americans with a bluecollar work ethic. My long extensive research on this candidate also says that he is of mixed ethnic background of some sort. I don’t know what his mother’s background is, but it’s clear that a senator from Chicago with a name like Barry O’Bama, must have had a very Irish daddy. I wonder if his dad’s name was Padraig. I digress, once again.

Now you may be thinking, “Well, McCain is a pretty Irish-sounding name too.” Well if you think that then you are really showing your ignorance. McCain is a name that is more frequently associated with the Scottish. You really should think harder and do more research before you mistakenly lump people into ethnic backgrounds like that. It could be considered offensive.

So let’s make St. Patrick’s Day come early this year, and vote Barry O’Bama for president of these United States. Erin Go Bragh, Barry!


NOTE: This piece of satire is not to be taken seriously, nobody is that stupid outside of the Bush family. In all seriousness though, vote Obama.