Hogs beaten by the Oxford Nutt Sacks.

This weekend, my beloved Razorbacks were defeated by the Ole Miss Rebels, a.k.a. the Oxford Mississippi Nutt Sacks in a squeaker that went down to the final seconds. I won’t go into a tangent about the game. But if you want, you can read one of many from the Woo Pig Clan here. What I will say is that this group of mostly freshman played well above Hog Fan’s expectations in what many people believe (myself included) is a rebuilding year after Houston Dale “Colonel Reb” Nutt R-U-N-N-O-F-T across the creek to Mississippi.

Since I’m a season ticket holder who resides in God’s Country (a.k.a. Northwest Arkansas), I was able to catch the first game in what will surely be our new rivalry. The following are some notes from the game:

It’s never too early to go to an SEC football game. My co-workers scoffed at me when I told them I planned on being there at 9 a.m. for a 6 p.m. kickoff. Well, I did get there at 9, and I wasn’t the first to arrive. If I would have gotten there earlier, I could have enjoyed more tailgating time.

Tailgate breakfast is the best. A few years ago my tailgate crew discovered “Deep Fried Honey Buns,” which are just store-bought Little Debbie Honey Buns seared on both sides with butter in a cast iron skillet. This year we made a new discovery – “Pancake Wrapped Bratwursts with Maple Syrup.” It’s exactly what the name says it is, so I don’t have to tell you, it’s delicious. We also enjoyed Jimmy Dean Sausage patties and of course we fried up a batch of Honey Buns, for a little something we like to call “Breakfast Dessert.”

Ole Miss dudes all look like the same white person. I know there is a whole lot of stuff you can make fun of about the fan base of the Arkansas Razorbacks. I mean our team’s mascot is a feral bovine critter. But among the Ole Miss faithful, originality is not a virtue that is held in high regard. They all dress like I did 15 years ago when I was a freshman frat kid in college – even the old bastards. There was a surprising number of OM Nutt Huggers that made the trip, all decked out in the official OM Uniform – khaki pants, Redwing boots, Oxford button down shirt (OM sweater vest or golf pullover optional), brown belt, no facial hair, and Manning Brother Bowl Haircut (OM cap also sold separately).


If you eat enough all through the day, you can drink as much as you want. Fishing, golf and tailgating are the only times when it is socially acceptable to drink before 10 a.m. (at least in the South). Over the course of the last seven years or so our tailgating crew has come to realize that you can drink enough booze to kill a large mammal as long as you have a high carb/high calorie diet. So, in addition to consuming mass quantities of foreign and domestic beer and spirits that day, we also consumed several dozen grilled hot wings, various sausage and bratwurst products, hamburgers, many racks of ribs, a cheesy potato casserole, tub of Panchos cheese dip and multiple bags of corn and potato chips.

Ribs should be of the pork variety. Ours were pork, and they were delicious. Slow cooked/smoked for around 6 hours. Beef ribs are for Texans = not as good.

I don’t have to hate Texas anymore. For years, Hog fans my age and older hated the University of Texass Longwhorns (misspelling completely intentional). Now we don’t have to anymore. We can hate Ole Miss. I don’t think they will be as fun of a nemesis though. I mean. Texas is a national football powerhouse with a huge recruiting base in the largest state in the lower 48. Ole Miss is in Mississippi, a state that most kids just want to get the hell out of. The University of Texas is located in Austin, a city with a vibrant live music scene and world-renowned art and music festivals. Ole Miss is in Oxford, where I think Widespread Panic may have played a couple of times. The University of Texas is the EVIL ORANGE EMPIRE. Ole Miss is more of a Republic of Complacent Preppy People, whose motto for years has been, “We may not win every game but we’ve never lost a party. Hoddy Toddy, ya’ll.”

I wonder if we can re-apply for a new arch-enemy in the SEC. Ole Miss doesn’t seem good enough to be our nemesis. Hey LSU, wanna hate somebody?

That will be the last time a team coached by Nutt beats the Hogs. We won’t have to worry about Ole Miss being our “rival” for very long. Nutt and company will become our whipping boys soon enough and we can focus on more hard-to-beat teams. The team that played the Hogs last Saturday wass the best class Nutt will have at Oxford – one recruited by someone else – it will go downhill in Oxford from here on out. Meanwhile, there’s good times to come with the Razorbacks coached by Bobby Petrino.

Nutt will be the coach at Ole Miss forever. Ole Miss is never going to win at anything, and they don’t really care if they do or not. They’re like the Chicago Cubs of the SEC. All they want is to go to a bowl game, any bowl game, every other year or so. So Houston Nutt is their man. I can see them now, in their nicely pressed Izod shirts at the casinos in Shreveport after the Independence Bowl saying, “Wow! This place has gambling just like Tunica. I hope we come here every year.”